“ . . . Light and life to all He brings, Risen with healing in His wings. . . ” from Hark! The Herald Angels Sing (words by Charles Wesley)My friend, Tony, ruined Christmas for me. Well not exactly “ruined,” since he introduced me to the most sublime Christmas music I’d ever heard. Unfortunately, he left before we’d had sufficient time to share it. I had always imagined we two friends would grow old together, and I’d have a chance to sit with his partner, Frank, and him and enjoy this beautiful music for many Christmases to come. In undergraduate school (UNC/Chapel Hill), Tony was one of my best friends. He was one of the smartest, most accomplished musicians I’ve ever known. He would carry on conversations with the professors I couldn’t begin to follow. And he was an astonishing pianist. He was the rehearsal pianist for the Men’s Glee Club, and he would read four-part contrapuntal open score at our rehearsals. How he did that, I’ll never know! I get around on the piano a little, but his skills made mine pale by comparison. One of the beauties of Tony was that he loved music so much. To this day, it moves me when I see someone who loves what he does, do it. When Tony would hear a passage in a recording, or a live performance moment of sublime music making, he always looked over to share it with me. Those little shared moments are among the dearest gifts I’ve ever been given. Tony introduced me to opera by playing a recording of the “Flower Duet’” from Madama Butterfly for me (with Anna Moffo, who became one of my favorite singers). We both eventually migrated north to New York City where we were fortunate to share a number of musical memories with one another before his untimely passing.
Christmas is perhaps my favorite of the holidays. As I decorated my tree this year, I listened to a CD Tony introduced me to: Christmas Night—Carols Of the Nativity by the Cambridge Singers, conducted by John Rutter. These are some of the warmest, most intimate, most beautiful, and most sublimely rendered Christmas carols I’ve ever heard. But it’s hard to listen to them alone without becoming sentimental, and missing my friend. I wondered why I found listening to this particular CD (which I always put on while decorating the tree) always so moving.
Every now and then, I stumble upon a moment of clarity. (These moments are, perhaps, few and far between. But I’m grateful that I have any at all.) This CD was a gift of Tony’s love to me—one of many such gifts. In choosing to give it to me, I suspect he hoped that I would find the same inspiration; the soul-stirring experience he found when he listened to them. He found hope, joy and some universal soulful connection in the lyrics, and admired the skill, heart and love that had been poured into recording it—the recording itself, a witness to that love.
I thought about Christmas—and about God loving us so much that he wanted to give us a gift unlike we’d ever known. Since God couldn’t physically come down to dwell among us, He sent His messenger, His Son to live among us and call us to be our best selves. And how the world marked this occasion—the Star, the Wise Men—this gift was going to be awesome. And awesome it was. And still is! And while there were many lessons Jesus taught us in his short time on earth, I believe the most important was to “dwell in love.” To this day, the essence of “being” is to love. When we think we cannot possibly love a single second longer, we dig deeper and ferret out greater love than we realized we were capable of; when our knee-jerk reaction is to judge, another opportunity to love instead; when we feel like we cannot take another step on our own, we turn to the love of our neighbors. Like music—which needs no common, single-language lyric to connect us—love reaches inside our hearts and beckons us to where it is needed. And love connects, rather than divides us.
I guess my friend, Tony, really helped open my eyes to all that Christmas, and music, could be—through the gift of his friendship, and the purity of his love. He wanted to share with me some of the incredible music inspired by the birth of Christ. And we marked the occasion by his giving me these gifts, and my receiving them. I had no idea at the time just how powerfully Tony’s gifts of music and love would come to impact me. Thankfully, at this blessed season for which love is the very reason, I begin to see with both my eyes and my heart.
Phil Hall
December 23rd, 2007
